You know, I was genially excited to see how this season would shape up. I’m not the biggest fan of All Star seasons, but hey, we already went through the first one, so, I was hoping there wouldn’t be a lot of hurt feelings and bad times going into All Stars 2.
So much for that dream.
Honestly, I would rather just lie down, and try not to think about it.
I feel you, Caucasian RuPaul doll.
Alright… so, where to begin.
The nine remaining Queens come back from the main stage, after Coco has been eliminated. The atmosphere is still tense, as everyone is still trying to process not only her elimination, but also the new twist that has been put upon them. Clearly, now is not the time for more potential drama.
“So, Tatianna, who were you gonna send home?”
God damn it, Alaska.
Thankfully, Tatianna reveals that she, too, was going to eliminate Coco.
Grandma Coco is not amused.
Afterwards, the Queens then sit around, and discuss how hard all the judges critiques were to them.
And by that, I mean they talk about how rude Michelle was to Adore.
The Queens beat around the bush about how all the judges were harsh, but it’s clear reading between the lines that everyone is especially shocked with how nasty Michelle’s comments were.
Alyssa talks about the social politicking that could arise from the situation, and how she is wary about the outcome.
Meanwhile, Phi Phi does this:
The next day comes, and Adore is still clearly upset.
She brings up about how this experience wasn’t what she was expecting, and is nervous of performing again.
BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT!
“SHE DUN ALREDY HAD HERRRSSSSSISSSS”
RuPaul stands in the middle of her glamour shot booth, informing the Queens that she’s already sick of them, and that she wants “new stars.”
This is clearly a joke. The most glaring evidence being that this implies Roxxxy Andrews could be considered a star.
RuPaul comes down, and informs the Queens that, as I predicted last time, the producers are trying to force all the popular challenges out first, so today, they will be doing the oddly loved for no inexplicable reason, Snatch Game.
Isn’t everyone excited!?
Adore is still clearly upset, and is starting to think that maybe she should quit.
Not even with the protection of her guardian angel, Bianca del Rio, does Adore feel secure.
Worried that one of her only actual All Stars might not be feeling well, RuPaul goes to check on Adore.
Unfortunately, Adores informs RuPaul that she’s contemplating leaving the competition.
RuPaul attempts to sway Adore back into staying in the competition, at first by telling her she’s an amazing Queen, but then by guilting her, saying she’ll let her fans down, and that she will later regret this situation.
Adore is emotionally confused, and doesn’t really know how to respond.
“Is there anything I could say that would convince you to stay?”
“Fire Michelle Visage?”
“Aside from that.”
With the obvious answer not working, Adore is then sent by RuPaul to go out of the set, and to speak to Michelle herself. And clearly, knowing that Adore is still hurting from the situation, I’m sure Michelle will delicately handle her.
Michelle: What’s wrong?
Adore: I’m thinking of leaving.
Or, not, I guess.
Adore tries to explain to Michelle that she felt hurt by the comments said to her on the main stage. Michelle, as expected, doesn’t get it, and says that Adore should have expected this kind of harsh critiques from the judges.
Way to go, Michelle. Good first step is to blame the person for expecting it to be different.
After this, Adore tries to explain that she took Michelle’s comments very personally.
“They weren’t personal attacks.”
“But they felt personal.”
“But they weren’t.”
Unsurprisingly, Michelle misses the fucking point. Whether or not her comments were personally against Adore (which they totally were), she should still apologize because, clearly, Adore took them that way.
Finally, after minutes of talking, Michelle says, “I’m sorry,” but it’s way too late for that now. Instead of trying to be the bigger man and approached the situation delicately, Michelle decided to ram down Adore’s throat that this is why she does what she does, and ends up making Adore just feel like a small, bratty child.
Speaking of children, Michelle says that she doesn’t even apologize to her own children. Which is totally not a recipe for disaster.
By the way, the show handles this situation well.
And by that, I mean the scene is intercut with scenes of RuPaul talking to the other eight Queens about their impersonations.
After mulling it over, and the stellar apology from Michelle, Adore has decided to leave the competition.
She explains to everyone that she didn’t expect the season to be the way that it was. She mentions that she is still grateful, but doesn’t feel like she really belongs, so she decided to opt out.
Before Adore left, she had a very poignant comment about the show: “I don’t feel like this is for me.” Think about it. Adore is an All Star for a reason. She made it to the top three of Season 6, a season with arguably the best cast of Queens in the show’s history. Despite heavy competition, and being in a final five with four other Queens each at least ten years older than her, Adore deserved to be a finalist. And now, Adore doesn’t feel like she belongs on the show.
We like to goof and make fun of Drag Race, because hey, it’s a show designed to be made fun of. But at the end of the day, Drag Race is also something important to a lot of Drag Queens. More than any other competition reality show of its type, Drag Race is a springboard for up-and-coming Queens to expose themselves, get a fanbase, and become more noteworthy. One hundred Queens have been on the show, and most of them, even the early boots, get a surge of popularity from it, allowing Queens to earn a proper living doing what they love doing.
And the beauty of Drag Race is that any type of Drag Queen can compete. No matter your aesthetic, your taste, or even where you grew up, anyone can end up on Drag Race and shine in their own way. Even if they didn’t win, there’s a fanbase for everyone, and Drag Race helps those Queens find that fanbase.
Adore’s quit isn’t just a blow to the show, it’s a blow to the very idea of it. Adore finding the show not meant for her is completely against what the show’s main message is suppose to be: acceptance. And the sad part is, Adore is hardly the only Queen to not feel accepted by the judges.
What Adore’s quit did was tell all future Adores, Jinkxs, Chi Chis, Milks, and Maxs that they need not apply. Their drag will be deemed worthless, and they will be ridiculed on set.
And, as all five of these Queen will tell you, they will be ridiculed in particular by one person:
So, to that end, all I have to say is this.
With Adore’s quit out of the way, the show focuses on something else, hoping to lighten the mood.
Thankfully, Phi Phi is here to show how much she’s changed, by trying to convince Alyssa and Roxxxy to switch their characters.
In a classic concern troll move, Phi Phi tells Alyssa and Roxxxy that their accents won’t work, and that they will flounder if they chose them. She also happens to tell them this roughly five minutes before they have to start the actual Snatch Game.
Oh, Phi Phi. Never change.
Roughly five minutes later, it’s time for the Snatch Game! Let’s meet our contestants!
Oh my god, guys, it’s Jujubee!
“Good to see ya, diarrhea!”
Oh… and Raven. That’s cool I guess.
As you can tell, Raven is excited to be back on the show that gave her second place twice.
With our contestants out of the way, let’s meet our stars!
First is Ginger Minj as Tammy Faye Baker, clearly before the cancer.
Next is Alaska as Mae West, mostly here to confuse the young people watching.
Next is Katya as Bjork, which is actually quite possibly the most perfect casting ever.
Next is Phi Phi as Theresa Caputo, a can of aqua net come to life that apparently can speak to ghosts.
Next is Alyssa, who absolutely nails the look of Joan Crawford.
Next is Detox as Nancy Grace, attempting to clear the low bar Acid Betty set.
Next is Tatianna, who is Ariana Grande. By that, I mean she looks *exactly* like Ariana Grande.
Last is Roxxxy, showing that she’s still trying not to be hateful by doing an impersonation of Alaska, who is sitting six feet away.
Good job, Roxxxy!
So, the Snatch Games commences.
Unsurprisingly, the stars of the thing are Alaska and Katya.
The worst, meanwhile, are Tatianna and Roxxxy. Roxxxy in particular, who has an odd lack of understanding of a person she has known, personally, for at least four years.
Ginger does a decent job. Unfortunately, she’s not on the same Snatch Game as Violet, Miss Fame, and Pearl, meaning that while she could half ass it before and still win, she can’t quite muster up enough to counter Katya and Alaska.
Admittedly a tough feat.
Alyssa tries a brand new strategy, where instead of directly answering RuPaul’s questions, she just blurts out every other line from Mommy Dearest. To her credit, she is actually funny doing it.
Detox and Phi Phi do decently at their impressions, but don’t set the world on fire, either.
All in all, as much as I might question the show’s love of this overhyped challenge, this was probably the best game of Snatch Game that’s been on the show.
Even Biance del Rio shows up to collect an appearance check from Logo (and to inform us she’ll be killing Michelle Visage).
But in the end, there is only one winner.
Shangela decides to pop out of Jujubee’s body, and accept the win.
Sadly, Alyssa doesn’t take the golden opportunity presented, and beat her drag daughter with a wire hanger. If that happened, Alyssa would instantly win the entire show.
With Snatch Game now over, we now return to the work room.
Shout out to Katya for wearing the shirt designed off of her Hello Kitty costume challenge.
We’re also presented with a new image to haunt your nightmares.
Now time for the main stage!
RuPaul comes out, after placing her head in a cotton candy machine.
Clearly, from her expression, she’s having fun on the runway.
Next is Michelle, trying to match the backdrop, presumably in hiding from guardian angel Biance del Rio.
Next is Carson, wearing possibly the ugliest vest ever made.
Next is Todrick, continuing his trend of trying (and failing) to have an uglier suit than boy mode Ayssa.
Last is Ross Mathews, who didn’t want to come back for a full season, but still wanted to appear to make sure people didn’t forget he existed (they did).
With that comes the girls.
First is Phi Phi, silently chanting “water off a duck’s back” to herself.
Next is Roxxxy, in a suit I assume she didn’t plan out, as there is no way for air to leave that body suit. Don’t be surprised if she takes that off next episode, and leaves an ocean of sweat.
Next is Alyssa, who I assume stole this outfit from Manilla Luzon, and just removed the pineapple.
❤ ❤ ❤
Next is Tatianna, looking incredibly sexy. The judges are going to call this outfit boring, but honestly, it works so well for her.
Alaska comes out after being vomited, head to toe, by the ’90s.
Ginger brings up she has never felt as sexy before in her life. I really hope this isn’t true.
HOLY SHIT DETOX!!!
After the runway, we’re told that the top two are Katya and Alaska, and that they each won tickets to Zumanity.
Boy, don’t they feel lucky.
This means that the bottom three will be Tatianna, Roxxxy…
I mean, I know Detox wasn’t the best at the Snatch Game, but she wasn’t that bad. Plus…
I mean, come on!
In any case, now we have the lip sync.
Continuing All Stars 2’s trend of picking terrible lip sync songs, we get Freak Out. While not as bad as Shake it Off, it’s still a bad pick to lip sync to.
Still, the lip sync has some fun moments.
I now want every lip sync to end on an awkward zoom on a kitten heel.
After the lip sync, it’s deemed that Alaska is the winner of the ten thousand dollars. Now Alaska must make a decision: eliminate a friend she made on her original season, or a Drag Queen she barely knew.
Sadly, Alaska picks the obvious choice, and eliminates Tatianna.
You know, this wouldn’t be so bad if Tatianna had won the lip sync last week like she deserved.
But no, this is fine.
Tatianna goes to the back room, talking about just wanting to show more of herself.
Did someone cry for an unnecessary twist?!
Like with Coco, RuPaul tells Tatianna that she’ll have a chance to come back.
Clearly, Tatianna is ecstatic.
Next time of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 2:
Phi Phi cuts someone!
Katya will awkwardly hump a stage prop!
Bianca will key Michelle’s fucking car!
All this, and more, next time!