RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 2 Episode 3 Recap

The girls return from the main stage. The mood is clearly dower.

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As you can no doubt tell by these outfits.

Thankfully, Alaska is here to put everything into perspective

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“Tatianna, you are an All Star”

Thank you, Alaska. Your wisdom about Tatianna’s reintroduction into the spot light is as moving as it is condescending. Yes, she has had consistent gigs after the show, and was still active before the season started, but clearly your affirmation was what she truly needed.

With Tatianna’s elimination out of the way, we can-

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“So, Katya, who did you pick to send home?”

Never mind…

Katya reveals that her choice for Tatianna, mirroring what happened last week. So, basically, the top two Queens will decide who to eliminate, so as to cause no drama when they come back.

I’m sure this won’t ever be broken, and no one decides to pull a switch and eliminate who they want instead.

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Finally moving on from the elimination, the girls sit around and talk about already making it this far.

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“We’re in the final… eight!”

Number of Queens left: Seven

But lack of unimportant skills like counting won’t stop Alyssa from celebrating making it this far.

And almost everyone is enjoying the show.

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“She’s um… definitively a star”

With Phi Phi’s first shady comment out of the way, we move on to the next day in the work room.

Katya starts giving a confessional about it being a “new day in the work room,” but realizes half way through how trite they are, and has to be coaxed into finishing by a producer.

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No, seriously.

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RuPaul comes down (surprisingly no “SHE DONE ALREADY HAD HERS!” message), and informs the Queens that they will be doing a lip sync, show choir-style performance. It’s kinda like Glamazonian Airways, only this one will be based around the “bad bitches of HER-story.”

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Their words, not mine.

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Alaska will be the original “bad bitch,” Eve.

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Phi Phi is Helen of Troy, which makes sense, as she can, too, level an entire country to the ground with just her presence.

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Ginger will be Catherine the Great, presumably the first big girl they thought of.

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Detox will be Marie Antoinette, meaning that she’ll hopefully get her head cut off.

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Alyssa will be Annie Oakley, because even Drag Race can’t fathom Alyssa as a figure of royalty.

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Roxxxy (who I totally forget was still here), will be Eva Peron, for the obvious Madonna joke.

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And Katya will be Diana, Princess of Wales, meaning the show should end in a terrible drunk driving accident, possibly involving Michelle Visage’s keyed up car.

Katya is frustrated that Ginger got Catherine the Great.

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“She got the character that was A. Russian, and B. Fucked a horse!”

So, the girls get to work.

Almost instantly, Phi Phi breaks a mannequin stand. Unlike last time, it wasn’t over the head of Sharon Needles.

We also get more Alyssa doing Alyssa things in the workroom, much to Phi Phi’s frustration.

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At first, Phi Phi complains that she sometimes finds Alyssa annoying, which… yeah, I can see that.

Phi Phi loses me, however, when she talks about why she feels Alyssa is here. Phi Phi is annoyed that, above all else, Alyssa is here to promote herself, figure out new catchphrases to sell on t-shirts, and to have a good time. I mean, obviously Alyssa is here to promote herself above all else.And really, isn’t that the best way to go into an All Star season like this? Have a good time, and sell yourself to the public. Really, Alyssa is approaching the show the absolute best way.

After working on their outfits for awhile, we get to them practicing on the main stage. Despite not being the greatest dancer, Ginger starts to grow confidence in herself. Until…

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God damn it, Phi Phi…

Like last time, Phi Phi goes up to a girl, and tells her that her dress won’t work for the number.

Of course, she says it in her new, concern-troll manner, meaning that while she’s no longer in huge, heated fights, she’s still trying to undermine all the other girls. At least she only did it with Gi-

*sigh*

We’re also given a new reaction face of Detox.

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“What the fuck?!”

But hey, at least her dancing is good.

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Choreographer: “It looks like you’re about to take a shit.”

Honestly, that can be a compliment just as much as an insult on this show.

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It’s a brand new day at bloom-effect-magenta city, seen here still in ruins after being devoured by giant Alyssa Edwards.

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Never forget.

We get back to the work room, and-

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Really?

…We’re met with a zoom in on a breast plate, with fig leaf pasties.

Seriously, this is the first shot after the transition between the two days.

With that mental image burned into my mind, the girls start talking about being on the show.

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“We are all bad bitches!”

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“I’m here with the baddest bitch of all time!”

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“But we’re all bad-“

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“So, Phi Phi, what’s it like being a huge villain!?”

Despite Alyssa’s attempts to steer the conversation away, Alaska (who I’m almost certain now is a plant) coaxes Phi Phi into talking about being rejected from night club appearances, and how no one wanted to work with her. Now she’s trying to show a new side to her.

Now she’s no longer starting fights. Now she’s just off to the sides, undermining everybody else’s confidence. She’s basically every shade of villain.

NOW TO THE MAIN STAGE!

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RuPaul is continuing to embrace her inner grandma.

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Next is Michelle, making sure her giant boobs are on full display.

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Next is Carson. Even he is tired of this show.

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Todrick is seriously starting to second guess this job.

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Last is guest judge Jeremy Scott, proving that more than any other accessory, the crown is the hardest to pull off.

So the show starts, and…

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Is… is this show implying Michelle Visage is god? Really? Really!?

Everyone is rightfully terrified at this thought.

Thankfully, the show properly starts after Michelle’s public display of loving herself.

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First is Alaska, dressed as Britney dressed as Eve.

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Next is Phi Phi. The judges are going to complain that Katya looks nothing like Princess Di, but I have no idea what Phi Phi is suppose to be. I mean, I know she’s Helen of Troy, but… that isn’t Helen of Troy.

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Next is Ginger, and as expected, her song is mostly about having sex with horses. Despite this set back, she actually does really well.

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Next is Detox, who died her entire outfit neon, and capped her lip sync with her mouth wobble. Naturally, this will mean she’s in the top.img_04171

Next is Alyssa as Annie Oakley, whose entire routine seems to be humping a poor Pit Crew member while he’s strapped to a chair.

Breathtaking.

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Roxxxy then briefly appeared on screen. I don’t know, she did something, I tend to doze off whenever Roxxxy appears on screen.img_04221

Last is Katya,  who I think looks exactly like Princess Diana. Katya had the hardest woman to do, as she was the only one the judges will have remember seeing when she was alive. So the fact that she pulls it off so well is amazing.

Of course, the judges hate it.

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And so the show ends.

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And all I can think is…

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“What the fuck!?”

Not content with just leaving the episode here, we then get a futuristic runway!

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First is Alaska, trying to be scary, but failing compared to the thought of God being Michelle Visage.

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Next is Phi Phi, sporting a gun of her own, but thankfully won’t be dry humping a pit crew member.

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Next is Ginger Minj, dressing surprisingly simple for this runway. You wouldn’t think it was a future runway without the eye make-up.

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Next is Detox, who just took off her skin. This is how she actually looks deep down after all that cosmetic surgery.

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Alyssa comes out in an outfit I’m almost positive is made of tin foil.

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ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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Katya comes out as a space mom, showing that disapproving, overprotective mothers will still exist seven hundred years from now.

After deliberation, we learn that the top two are Alyssa and Detox, and the bottom 2 are…

Ginger and Katya.

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The girls go to the backroom to deliberate on who to send home.

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Katya starts pleading to Detox about staying here, but she knows it’s almost fruitless. The judges decided that she was the worst, and the contestants, instead of thinking for themselves, are eliminating based on that.

Katya knows Detox is going to follow Roxxxy and Alaska, and eliminate her because the judges said so. Her speech is clearly that of someone who feels they’ve already lost.

Plus, it’s hard to have a heart to heart conversation with this:img_04501

While Detox affirms that she is going to send Katya home, Alyssa isn’t as sure.img_04511

Alyssa has a sincere talk to both contestants, and says that she can see the fire in both of them. Unlike everyone else, Alyssa isn’t going to instantly follow the judges, and wants to make the decision on her own terms.

Alyssa’s lack of commitment to the agreement is angering other people.

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Roxxxy, Alaska, Phi Phi, and four producers (off screen) talk about who to send home.

With the first real dilemma of the season afoot, we actually have a lip sync that could mean something! Holy shit, guys, drama!
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Adding to the breathe of fresh air that is the potential drama of who is going home, we actually get a good lip sync song. Tell it to My Heart is a cheesy 80’s synth song, and is head and shoulders better than the first two for lip syncing.

Naturally, 80’s cheese is totally up Alyssa’s alley, and she slays the song.

My reaction to Alyssa:

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Not only does Alyssa do the best lip sync performance of the season so far, but her win means there’s actual tension. Detox made it clear she would go along with the judges and eliminate Katya, but Alyssa was clearly unsure on what she wanted.

Naturally, certain people are not amused.

And despite the wishes of the producers, Alyssa decided to eliminate Ginger.

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Alyssa rationalizes that while Ginger has stayed in the middle of the pack the whole time, Katya won the last episode. Alyssa says she doesn’t feel one bad competition means that a Queen should be eliminated, especially if said Queen was at the top last week.

By the way, whether or not you think Ginger or Katya should have left, you must at least give it up for Alyssa for deciding to make that choice on her own, as oppose to being a mouth piece for the judges. She wanted to do things she thought was right, and in so doing created a more chaotic, and thus fun to watch, environment.

Guys… I don’t know how to say this, but Alyssa has become my favorite character of the season.

Still, this clearly has made her enemies.

Not amused.

And despite being glad Alyssa made her own decision, I’m still sad to see Ginger go. She wasn’t nearly as bad here as she was on Season 7, plus she leaves with a killer exit.

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“I’m not at all mad at Alyssa. I wish her the best.”

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“By the way, Ginger, you will get a chance to come back.”

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“Oh, hell yeah, I’m gonna kick Alyssa’s ass!”

Damn, can’t we kick Roxxxy out and keep Ginger around?

Please?

Next Time on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 2:

Production kills Alyssa for having free will!

Roxxxy might actually get a confessional!

Todrick Hall escapes his contract!

All this, and more, next time!

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