We come back to the work room, and see the inspirational words left by Ginger.
In all seriousness, another Queen is gone, and it’s time to remember her.
“Alyssa broke the rules!”
Yes, instead of spending some time giving Ginger Minj any sort of memorial or honor her in any form, instead we have people bitching to Alyssa about her choice.
Detox also makes sure to mention to Katya that she was her choice, just so that Katya feels even more awkward while people are arguing Ginger should have stayed.
Alyssa tries to explain herself, using the same rational she gave before: she personally didn’t feel Ginger had done as consistently well as Katya, and so eliminated her.
After explaining it rationally, I’m sure the girls are now going to accept Alyssa’s explanation.
“Alyssa broke our pact!”
The next day, the 6 remaining Queens go to the workroom, and notice a note.
A note which was clearly left here by Ginger before she left, and not planted by the producers for the girls to find later.
No matter, it’s still nice to see that Ginger is fine with the choice so that we can move-
“Well, I think it’s obvious what ‘Play a fair game’ means!”
Yeah, no, of course Phi Phi is going to bring it all back up and complain that Alyssa broke the pact.
Keep in mind, in show time it has been roughly a minute since that argument ended.
Even Detox is annoyed at this point.
“Phi Phi, I can make my own choices”
“Sure. As long as we all agree to it.”
Thankfully, RuPaul quickly comes out and announces the challenge. The Queens will be paired up and doing parody “shequels” about famous movies Logo clearly couldn’t get the rights to.
Katya and Detox will be doing a sequel to Thelma and Louise called “Velme & Weezy”
I like to imagine that’s Michelle’s keyed up car, and that they sent it over a cliff for the sake of a fake title card.
Phi Phi and Roxxxy, aka Team Phoxxxxy, aka the team no one wants to see win, get a sequel to Showgirls called “Showsquirrels”
Still not as weird as that poster where it looks like Elizabeth Berkley is a head on a leg.
And Alaska and Alyssa will be doing a sequel to Whatever Happened to Baby Jane called… “Wha’ Ha’ Happened to Baby JJ?”
Even the baby doll is amazed at the idiocy at that title.
So, the Queens get to work, and, surprise to surprise, Phi Phi’s character gets called a “tired ass showgirl.”
Phi Phi reacts to the obvious joke with grace and dignity.
Hating the idea of being typecasted, she goes to Roxxxy and asks her if they can switch parts.
And by ask, I mean Phi Phi demands that they switch parts.
Fearing her own life, Roxxxy agrees to the change.
“I wanna show my versatility. And Roxxxy can’t stop me!”
God, can we get something less violent that Phi Phi?
Aaaahhhh… much better.
So, the Queens start getting ready to film their movies. Movies that will at least be seen by more people than Starrbooty.
Against her better judgement, Roxxxy points out that Phi Phi is the only one to not be one of the top two.
Phi Phi gives a confessional about how she’s afraid of flat lining in the competition, and wanted to make sure she can secure a win before she’s eliminated.
Now, see? That’s a nice, relatable…
“And ever since the pact was broken…”
God damn it Phi Phi!
No joke, with commercials, the episode is only twenty minutes in, and Phi Phi has complained about Alyssa not doing what she wanted *three times*.
Jesus Christ, Elsa, let it go!
We get to the filming of the event, where we see that the directors are Michelle and Todrick (Todrick getting a chyron after Michelle had one, because for some reason it couldn’t display both).
“So over this job…”
First are Detox and Katya. Of course, the question comes up, how do you do a sequel to a film where the main characters both die?
Zombies, of course!
Leave it to RuPaul to jump on a dead horse long after it has been picked clean by vultures.
Next are Alaska and Alyssa.
Yep, twice in one season, Alyssa will be playing Joan Crawford.
Also, Alaska throws Alyssa to the ground.
Still less violent than whatever Phi Phi was going to do to Roxxxy.
Speaking of which, we now have Phi Phi and Roxxxy.
Honestly, they don’t do too bad, considering the costumes were most likely designed specifically to fit each other. Roxxxy is a good half a foot taller and at least fifty pounds heavier than Phi Phi, so she probably wished that they could switch roles. But…
Yeah, I’d be scared too.
RuPaul comes out in honestly her best look of the season.
On the opposite end is Michelle Visage, whose entire wardrobe this season can be best summarized as “drunk mom.”
Carson is still here, giving us the crazy eyes we have all longed for since Tatianna went home.
What the hell, Todrick, is that soda cans on your jacket?
Alright, fine, there. You beat boy mode Alyssa for ugliest outfit of the season.
Last is guest judge Nicole Scherzinger, a judge so famous and well know, I had to google her to find out that she was on the Pussycat Dolls.
On this episode, the Queens will be dressed in convertible outfits, inspired by the outfit Violet wore in the first challenge, the first and only awesome thing she did in season 7.
Honestly still amazing.
Phi Phi comes out in an ugly blue dress…
That converts to an ugly yellow dress, converting her look from Alice in Wonderland to Manila Luzon.
Next is Roxxxy, who you can barely see because of the show’s terrible lighting, converting to…
I’d honestly make a joke here, but this is the best look she’s had all season.
Katya comes out in skimpy silver dress than becomes a floor length red number, complete with a pact with Satan!
Is this the pact Phi Phi was talking about?
Detox comes out dressed as Elvira, and then becomes…
It’s vaguely Asian, though, so the judges will gladly show their casual racism and say that the Caucasian drag queen is giving a Japanese look.
Next is Alyssa is a giant, wide dress. And underneath is…
A dozen and a half cameras glued to her dress, flashing and clicking as she walks down the runway.
Ugly dress, yes, but the concept is good. And considering that most of the outfits this episode are ugly, that still puts her in the lead.
Last is Alas-wait… who is that? Could it be!?
LIL POUND CAKE!!!
“Good to see ya, diarrhea!”
If you don’t remember, Lil Pound Cake was a mannequin Alaska and Lineysha Sparx dressed up for a mini challenge. A mixture of Honey Boo Boo and Angelica Pickles, she naturally became one of the most likable characters of Season 5.
After the Queens show their looks, it’s time for the movies.
It’s also time for RuPaul to take another dig at Pacoima.
First are Roxxxy and Phi Phi. While they admittedly do a decent job, they were given a soft ball of a movie with Showgirls. Still, well done is still well done.
Next are Detox and Katya, doing zombie Thelma and Louise. If you’re playing along at home, it takes them roughly twelve second to drop a Walking Dead joke.
Katya also rips off Detox’s arm, which I don’t think was part of the movie. I’m pretty sure Detox actually really has become so artificial that you can rip her arms off like a Barbie doll and she’ll be fine.
And last, but not least, is the main attraction:
Alaska and Alyssa kill the competition. Both trade ham between each other, and it becomes a never ending battle of them one upping one another.
Speaking of ham.
“Good to see ya, diarrhea!”
After deliberations, it’s revealed the top two of the episode are Alaska…
And Phi Phi.
And that the bottom three are Roxxxy, Katya…
Yep, for some reason, we’re back to bottom three. Of course last week was bottom two, and all logic says that it should be a bottom two. Bottom three is half the girls!
I guess I deserved that.
While the girls decide who to send home, the judges will be… making prank phone calls.
Really, Logo? That’s the best you got? An old, pink rotary phone with fake jewels on it. Really!?
So the girls go back and deliberate. Meaning that Alyssa, Roxxxy, and Katya will have to plead their case to this thing.
Meanwhile, Phi Phi says she won’t do deliberations, as she has already made up her mind.
Gee, I wonder who Phi Phi is going to eliminate if she wins. It can’t be the other contestant she had laid into three times already, can it?
Meanwhile, at the judging table.
“Hi, I’m looking for Mike. Last name Hunt. Are you Mike Hunt!?”
Well… no one called her a comedy Queen…
So, we get to the lip sync.
Genially shockingly, the lip sync song is another decent choice to perform. Got To Be Real isn’t exactly a lip sync classic, but hey, it’s better than lip syncing a Taylor Swift song about haters.
Just like her last time, Alaska steals the show.
And it could only end one way.
Thankfully, Alaska wins.
And hey, with Phi Phi not choosing who to send home, maybe Alyssa will stay!
Sadly, Alaska chooses Alyssa to go home.
Like a true pro, Alyssa takes it like a good sport. She says she’s thankful for the opportunity the show gave her, and is blessed to be part of the show.
Corny, yes, but Alyssa being a good sport is way more watchable than hearing Phi Phi complain about her again.
Speaking of which…
We see the girls go back to the workroom, seeing Alyssa’s goodbye message. As before, Alyssa is showing how to take losing, and reminds the girls to not take the game seriously.
It’s a touching send off to one of the show’s most well known Queens.
“Was I the only one annoyed that the judges didn’t read Alyssa on her look!?”
Showing complete lack of tact, Phi Phi starts complaining that the judges were willing to let Alyssa’s look slide, when she couldn’t get away with it.
At this point, knowingly or not, Phi Phi is burning every bridge she can to make sure she wins. And surely this behavior won’t come back to roost on her.
Speak of the almost literal devil.
Yep, the four eliminated Queens are back!
The end result of the worst game of Bloody Mary ever.
Next time of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 2!
Grandma Coco gives Roxxxy a spanking!
Tatianna says “Thank you.”!
Phi Phi complains about her edit!
All this, and more, next time!