RuPaul’s Drag Race UK Episode 1 Cast Rank

It was really sweet of RuPaul to refer to everyone as her children. Because as we all know, RuPaul has treated all of her past contestants well.

Like Vixen. Or Pearl. Or Willam. Or Shangela. Or Shea. Or Peppermint. Or-

Middle

10. Baga

I don’t think I ever felt grosser than when Baga told me she liked to be covered in “daddy sauce.” Is that, like, a thing in the UK? Because otherwise that’s not even a double entendre. She might as well just said, “I like to be covered in semen. From another man. Because I fucked him.”

Baga was pretty annoying, mostly because she has the same forced, canned energy in confessionals that you see in most Big Brother US Screamers. She’s trying so hard to sell herself as this “infamous” drag queen who doesn’t get along with anyone, but only infamous trait is some of her “opinions” that came to light. Baga is uncontroversially controversial, and I don’t see her rising much unless someone ends up worse than her next episode.

9. Blu

More like Purpl Hydrangea, amirite?!?!?!

8. Crystal

Legends say a contestant named Crystal is in this season. So far no proof has been supplied.

7. Divina

Divina is arguably an even worse example of a Big Brother screamer placed in Drag Race, with her fake, harsh laugh appearing twice within her first minute on the show. I’m also hesitant of someone as known as she is being exciting because this could easily go to “inoffensive, pleasant Queen” territory that most non-Willam Queens choose to play.

For now, I’m being kind and putting her in Middle, but I won’t be surprised if she plummets. Despite those chompers, I don’t think Divina has any real bite.

6. Gothy

I wanted to like Gothy more than I do, but she just never clicked for me. I like a lot of things about Gothy in theory: an awkward young Queen who is totally not prepared for the show, who gives a half-ass runway and a terrible lip sync before vanishing into the mist. There’s potential there for an awkward first boot, but she doesn’t fulfill it. I think what does it for me is that she has literally nothing going for her: she’s not talking about her cyst on the runway, she didn’t have a surprisingly kick ass lip sync to a Christina Aguilera song, and she didn’t do a YouTube video with Contrapoints. Gothy just happened, a minor footnote that the show wasn’t even that mean to.

Top

5. Cheryl

Her actual Twitter icon ❤

Mark this top ranking less by Cheryl by herself and more by her potential. Cheryl tries very hard to play cool and level-headed, but from the entrance to the runway it’s clear Cheryl is not having the Drag Race experience she expected. To be honest, I don’t think she should have been in the bottom three in general, but that sent into a tailspin of hopelessness that the show will no doubt exploit and capitalize on.

And the fact that she comes from Essex is the perfect capper to this. I loved her Essex look, and it fits her haughty, thinking-you’re-the-hottest-shit-on-planet-earth demeanor that will crumple as time progresses. If she ends up doing Gemma Collins for Snatch Game, she might become my favorite contestant of the season by miles.

4. Vivienne

I think The Vivienne came on with a clear idea of what she wanted to do, and unlike Baga and Divina, she pulled it off well. I’m not always won over surely by talent, but her impressions were honestly funny, and I will cautiously stan anyone who wins a Queen-based runway challenge looking like George Washington as a medieval peasant.

But let’s be honest, she won me over as soon as she impersonated Kim Woodburn. And probably the fastest way to my heart is by evoking that gay icon.

For you uninitiated ADULTERERS.

3. Sum Ting

One point for naming herself after an historic viral video. One point for this honestly good runway. And about seventeen thousand points for plopping her titty out, feeding her decapitated head, and daring the audience to masturbate to it. If Sum Ting wanted me to love her, she fucking succeeded, and this is how you do it!

2. Vinegar

RuPaul’s being curious and asking what Vinegar Strokes means, and immediately regretting it, resonates an energy that is serene yet undefinable.

Vinegar is high less for one big thing and more for a bunch of small moments: the above mentioned name explanation, her weird friendship with Scaredy, her out-of-nowhere, insecure defensiveness at Andrew Garfield… Vinegar has the unhinged energy Drag Race UK needs to be amazing.

1. Scaredy

I was most excited about Scaredy coming into the season and I’m glad to report my faith was not misplaced. This bisexual, stoner icon is exactly what I needed from Drag Race UK: an oddball whippersnapper who has never performed (!) nor even been to a Drag show (!!!!!!!!), and who responds to all the shock from everyone else about that with a glazed, impassive expression. Unlike someone like Baga or Divina who brag during the entire premiere, in between old jokes from the former and harsh cackles from the latter, Scaredy is so blithe and uninterested in being a character that she ends up being the best character, especially after winning the mini-challenge and the accompanying side-eyes that caused.

Scaredy was very present in this premiere, despite being just safe, which forecasts to me she lasts a long time. And that might be the best sign for Drag Race UK doing well. Because while casting contestants like Divina makes sense on paper, it’s contestants like Scaredy who are going to be the backbone of your show’s longevity.  Drag Race lives and dies by its breakout stars, and if one of them is Scaredy, the forecast looks positive.

Next Time on RuPaul’s Drag Race!!!

Baga votes Leave in an attempt to get rid of Vinegar and Sum Ting and thin the competition.